No u dun call me and rant all u want and then just end the call when u feel like it. Peharps this friendship only concerns only u and u alone. Even just a gentle question to ask u if u would mind to study with me for awhile uould just turn me straight down with a no. I thought friends were supposed to care for each other. Yah u said i could ask u stuff if i dun know. Yah I did sms u and all u did was to reply 3 hours later without answering the question. And then even asked me why i took so long to reply ur questions all the time. Is this how it works all the time? U probably wont give a damn if i really retain anw. Its not impossible. In this competitive class u r in. Its no wonder that self centerness has became so strong in u now. And the worst thing is... I thought u were one of my best friends. Guess i was wrong. Im just there for u to have fun with. Call when u are feeling bored and than just put down the phone like a boss. Thats all. Guess what. I dont want this anymore. I have enough. Period.
Thing is, i dun want to be a burden. I dun need others to feel oblighed to help me or to sympathise me. I appreciate true concern and help probably as good friends thats all.
It is my own fault that i did not study well but im just sad to know that the people that i mix with everyday would not even bother out of true concern but instead out of obligation. I feel so damn pathetic.
Do u know how it feels to fight a losing battle all by yourself. Do u know the feeling of dispair and constant failure? Do u know how it feels to feel so insignificant and taken for as a joke.
No u really really dont.
Im still gonna work hard though. Myself. Thing is. I can already foresee the outcome the results. Been thinking of purposely failing my english to retain. Whats the point anw. Sch is just too complicated.
Somebody tell me. Why do i feel so hurt. Why am i actually crying while typing this on my phone. Why the strong surge of hurt.
Just more demoralised as the days goes. I really shouldnt be so affected by friends. Afterall. You live for yourself. Im gonna learn to be much more selfish than now. Theres really no point being selfless sometimes.
Nobody can really be trusted. Thats all. This is tough but after facing this heck of a strong battle. Im not gonna let myself feel this way ever again. Things are not going to be the same anymore.
Friendship has just lose its genuinity. I really get it now.
One day. If u put yourself in my shoes. Peharps u will know this ultimate feeling of betrayal and how it really kills.
Xx
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