inspirational

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_FlsRC0YP8&feature=related

really can't embed this video here but omg totally teared while watching this.
really lives to up the saying : true music is not seen, but its heard from the ears and felt by the heart.
but no, this world is too cruel, to slam her just based on her looks and that she's obese. How very sad.
Its really like you can feel her life story through her singing.

the best songs are brought out by real emotions through real experiences..........

same for this



watching dreams come true... watching the happiness radiates through people touched by the simple song.
i wonder............. what's my dream now.

i know i'm doing things differently now, really studying. i really can do this.
i'm getting more and more not so sociable but its okay its good to be quiet and alone sometimes actually

** this is the first time i actually felt something so strong for someone... okay maybe not really really the first but sigh i know it myself.  hahahhaa sounds so naive and dumb. but you know what? i'm gonna stop and end it all here. look at the timing, so wrong. how about going da capo all the way back to the start. and than fine at the right parts now. if this was a sonata i'll stop at the exposition part. no development no recapitulation no coda. cos i know i'm heading too far, playing with fire yet again... but it really feels so different with you, i'm sorry if i ignore u, but okay i admit i have feelings...ok for you yes. ok im being very open yet again but urgh, i want it to end. it has to end soon anw, reality is gonna end it. perhaps sooner or later, i won't even see you anymore. School will probably lose that bit of excitement now. Its ok i'm gonna focus on the right stuff. Easier said than done. I feel numb anw, probably used to it. You open me up to a whole new world but i'm slowly walking out now....... closing the door behind me. Hurts quite a little, but nvm i'll find someone like you :) i wish nothing but the best for you. sorry? hahaha was good while it lasted. everything fades with time. so long i don't see you anymore and your rare smile hahahha, i'll just let it fade as a memory. this sounds sad, but its ok i trust in God. im sorry i went too far, and now i'll fallen.......... for you. even though i really don't want. sigh this sounds so childish and stupid. this is the first time in the abstinence year that i've felt something...out of everybody i've known, guess something striked.


Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start though I can't finish but will complete




its quite tiring sometimes. This year, its been mostly Me and God and being independent. 
For a really people person, i feel lonely among everybody. 
cos when something happens, i'll just face it alone. 
just being used for fun and laughter, thrown around after that. 
superficial. 


im working hard for myself, for the people who genuinely care. 
cos i know if i fail or have to take combined science or retain if my english decides to surprise me, 
its won't be much of a difference to most at school. 
too many politics. 
yes im quite hurt, by my closest friends. i do not live to please you all the time. 
maybe i expect too much. 
that's why i'm keeping a distance. 
tension. 


We were all made by love, with love, to love. 



keep the love and smiles going vanessa, make a difference! 


xx